Joke

Prosecutor asks the defendant, "Did you kill the victim?"
"No, I did not."
"Do you know what the penalty is for perjury?"
Damn right, and it's a hell of a lot better than the one for murder!"

Rummaging around town

I had my first conversation with my uptight, moralistic, Bible thumping bully neighbor. She collects aluminum pitchers so I gave her one I found this weekend at a garage sale and despite my better judgment I agreed to a cup of coffee. As a little background, what little I know about these neighbors I don't like. The day after they moved in, the cops showed up at my door saying someone had complained about my dogs barking. I assumed it was them (and like the mother of a brat, I don't think they are obnoxious at all). They also wrote a letter to the editor complaining that smoke from one area in the restaurant permeated the non-smoking area. And another letter that teenagers played their radios too loud. Anyway, in a nutshell, they are sanctimonious prigs that are always in church but totally intolerant.

At our little encounter, Mrs. Prig starts talking about how children don't study the Holocaust and history is repeating itself as Moslems want to exterminate Christians. (Ever notice how Christians always feel persecuted). I never argue so I just said I needed to get back to my work and got the hell out of there. I am going to send her an anonymous photocopy of information on how Bush is like Hitler. Dave Barry says that to compare your opponent to Hitler is the heavy artillery in an argument.
p.s. I wished I had not spent the dime on the pitcher.

Bumper sticker

Pilfered joke