Free Market Follies

The torch and pitchfork teaparty crowds are not the only thinkers who can come up with simple solutions to complex problems. Given that the USA approves of the bounty and/or contractor methods of employment and given that the goal is to privatize government functions, eliminate taxes, fix health care, balance the budget and end unemployment simultaneously through free market principles, I propose the following small changes to America that transfers costs to the benefactors.

Adopt the Diamond Standard The gold standard was always a problem of distribution, aquisition, and storage. Frankly, everyone's faith in money's value is diminished no matter how many anti-counterfeiting dodads thay add to fancy it up and pretend that it is more than flexible-valued paper. Furthermore, a major problem with a gold standard is that one has to either round up the hoarding John Birchers or blow up a whole mountain to get a bucket of it. Diamonds are much more plentiful, are carbon based like other products we would die/kill for and people are already deluded by the DeBeers that they have value. Also, many diamonds are in Africa and those people could finally quit being third worlders and/or would be easier to kill than Arabs.
Social values expand. Finally divorcees could quit bitching about the years they wasted as diamonds become the next bubble and values skyrocket. Women will all insist that men "put a ring on it" and prostitution returns to its rightful place as a profitable business for the non-squeamish who are the true professionals at faking it.
Create jobs -Genuine Zirconium (my aunt brags that she has a genuine Zirconium) and rhinestone manufacturing to supply hustler's and p[oseur's demand become growth industries as do consulting diamond identification experts.

Tomorrow: Politicians become freelancers.